Why do I do it. So, I know I have been next to completely inactive but whatever. The thing I really want to get to is that I just recently found out that I have depression, anxiety problems and the beginnings of Atypical depression. I've hit the biggest, worstest, (yes I know that isn't really a word but bear with me), scariest artist's block I've ever experienced. I hate, and I mean utterly HATE everything I produce. HaaaAAAAaaaTTTeeeEE! All I'm good for at the moment is eating, sleeping and watching anime. At one point I thought it was getting better, but after that it got like a billion times worse. I feel completely useless to those around me, like that I'm not there for my friends when they need me, my dad's problems are entirely my fault, I'm lying to my mum day in, day out, but I think the worst one I feel is this feeling that I've failed as a sister to my little brother. We've never really gotten along, but I had no intention of taking things this far like I'm a bully or something. And I'm also really scared that sometime, all these problems really non-existent problems are going to came back and bite me in the butt. I can't shake the feeling that everyone is either scared of me, hates me, and those who don't will do some time in the near future. School is going just fine grade-wise but it's so boooOOOOOooorinG! I don't have any interests because I'm too tired or scared to leave the house and I'm over-eating so I'm gaining weight and that makes me less confident in my appearance and I don't know who I am any more so I'm less confident in my personality too. Sleep has always been a problem for me so I'm less concerned about that, it's just that I'm tired all the time when I'm awake too. I need to be fixed.
Also, if anybody's interested here's some opinions on some animes I just recently watched. I thought Death Note was very good and it just left me loving it. Naturally my fangirl heart surrendered to L's charms It's so intense and I would thoroughly recomend it to detective-loving people who appreciate a damn good plot. And the occasional twist. Attack on Titans was amazing and you get so into tha action, I watched it all in one afternoon. I warn you, it is VERY adicting. You must be able to cope well with blood and gore because there is some messed up stuff in there. I think my favourite character was Armin, because I can sort of empathize with him in a way. Digimon tamers is the bomb, seriously. In my opinion, the first two seasons ain't got on this. The protagonist is a bit more believable and he has flaws. That is always important in a good character. Also, he's not hotheaded or courageous to the point where it's plain stupidity. The digimon are WAY better with the derpy Guilmon, the ADORABLE terriermon and the badass Renemon and their digevolutions are so cool. But my main reason for liking it is because the the female character. The previous characters, I either didn't care for (cough-Kari-cough) or just straight up didn't like. (cough-Sora-cough.) Yolei and Mimi were likeable enough but they still had the odd facepalm moment. But Rika was a MUCH needed step-up from the previous female protagonists. She makes Takato and Henry her BITCHES. She's by far the coolest character in the entire show, all seasons included, no questions asked. I'm currentley watching Dangan Ronpa and so far, it's been great. The main character reminds me a little of me I suppose.